Untitled 4
by Felix McKraken
Summary: You think you know me? Think again. You can know all about my past, and all the dirty little secrets I harbor, and all the horrible things that I've done, but you'll never, ever, know me.


**(Untitled 4)**  
  
You think you know me?  
Think again.  
You can know all about my past, and all the dirty little secrets I harbor, and all the fucking horrible things that I've done, but you'll never, ever, know me.  
You can never ever really know someone.  
So if you want to start some shit, than go ahead and say it. Say you _know_ me. I'll be glad to prove you wrong.  
Because even I don't know who I am.  
I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, I act a certain way and I say the same shit over and over again, and my alibis don't always match up, but what the fuck?  
Are you going to pick apart everything I say?  
Are you going to analyze every word that comes out of my mouth till you've come to a stunning conclusion?  
Are you going to piece me together like a jigsaw puzzle and solve one of the mysteries of the universe?  
Go waste your efforts elsewhere. I don't have time for this.  
You can't say that I do because every second that passes, I'm heading straight for death, and guess what? I'm older than you.  
Yeah, I'm going first. I've got to live it up while I still can - literally.  
Surprised? Why should you be? I've had a long while to think about this. But you, you're so...you. Sometimes, I hate you.  
That's okay though, right? Because sometimes I hate myself.  
Sometimes I hate everyone.  
And it's ok. Doesn't everyone feel like that? Everyone I used to know felt like that. But I don't know them anymore, in fact, I never really knew them at all.  
So what does it matter what you think? Are you going to impact my life when you haven't for done so for years? Are you going to do something so radical it's going to completely change my mind?  
Whatever. You don't even know who you are.  
What do you think defines a person? Their memories? The way they react to a situation? What?  
I don't think people are really people. We're just things that function, that carry on. Parasites. The living feeding off of the living to reproduce themselves to make the dead.  
It's sick. And you wonder how I'm able to kill without second thought. To kill innocent people.  
They're not so innocent after all, eh?  
Think about it. I dare you.  
Just like I dare you to say you know me.  
Sure you know my name, my status, my age, what I enjoy, what I don't, but do you really think that shows who I am?  
You're defining me. Making me an object. Making me a thing, once you try to "know" me.  
To you, to know someone, you have to have associations. I cannot just be me.  
This is true.  
I am the product of everything around me, and I cannot change, because I am the adaptation. A mold. People mold, and then they set, permanently staying the same.  
You will always be you, and I will always be me.  
Nothing can change that.  
So why do you even insist upon this conversation? Why do you keep it forthcoming?  
It irritates me. Wasting my time, wasting my life.  
Things are going to be different soon, and I wonder who you're going to blame.  
Me for being me, or you for being unable to change me, so ultimately, for you being you?  
I wonder why you make such a big deal out of things you cannot influence.  
You're always like that though, eh?  
Always trying, never giving up, even against all odds. Finding faith and hope where and when everyone else gives up.  
How can you look at yourself in the mirror?  
How can you see your reflection and not think, "Wow, I'm really fucked up."?  
You want to know the truth? A little secret?  
Guess what then, here's the big bomb - there is no such thing as normal.  
I always wanted this thing called a normal life, to just live how I was supposed to, but reality is never your friend and all sorts of shit is spat at you.  
So the next thing you know you're off on this crash course of, or to, god knows what, or where, and you just wish you had it the other way because it looks oh so nice, and you would've been oh so much more happy.  
Yeah, well, fuck that, because I've noticed something. You'll never be at the epitome of personal happiness because you'll keep getting everything you want, and you'll always find something bigger to obtain.  
Corruption is by far the worst thing to happen to a parasite. It transfers them into something much more horribly disfigured and just downright nasty.  
I digress.  
The point is, really, that no matter where you stand, you're never going to be at the pinnacle of normal, of what you desire, because normal is a loose term that every person seems to have a different definition for.  
For the longest time I had wanted everything. Worlds, galaxies - hell, even the fucking universe. But after awhile I began to really think about it.  
What good is immortality? I want excitement in my life.  
So yes, what I'm really saying is that I want my life to end. Not now, of course, just in due time. You understand what I mean, right? Die of natural causes?  
Then the after life is stretched out endlessly before me, and maybe we'll see where I go.  
Apparently I'm a really bad person.  
You know what happens to them, right? People like me?  
How could you? You're so pure. You have no perception of real torture. Of true agony.  
The worst pain is that from the mind, not the body.  
But you have no idea what that's like.  
How do I know? A hunch, really.  
You could confirm this, yes? Be honest.  
Not like you could lie. You've never lied before, so you never will.  
What?  
I don't think so.  
No!  
How do I know?  
I just do, that's the way you are. That's you. That's who you are.  
What?  
Well, fuck me.  
Yeah, I guess we're all hypocrites.  
  
A/N: Yeah, it's really weird, but I was in a weird mood when I wrote this. If you couldn't really figure it out this is one side of a conversation between Goku and Vegeta, and guess which side! *LOL* If you guessed Vegeta's, you get a gold star! :D Um..yeah, has lotsa good Chuck Palahniuk undertones speckled with some shit I just made up. Fun, fun. 


End file.
